Wednesday , 24 May 2017
Breaking News

Guy Gagnier

profile_guyGuy Gagnier moved to Furry Creek in 2009 to train in snowboard cross in the region’s mountainous splendour. Though his French accent confused local residents and Furry Creek’s snow is actually just funny looking rain, the pint-sized boarder managed to secure a spot in that huge international winter sports event. You know, the one with the circles that happens every 4 years that we can’t legally mention. But his 2010 quest for gold was shattered when he slid pelvis-first into his fellow competitor Chad. A penile fracture took him out of the competition and ruined his athletic career. Since then, Guy has naturally transitioned into working as a dirty squeegee kid. Poor and horny, Guy hopes to win gold in The Face of Furry Creek contest. Channel 12 hopes he won’t. I mean, he barely speaks Inglish for goodness sake.